Grief: Losing a Child
By Cindy Odom
It was 1976, I was married and had a 2 year old daughter. We thought life was good. We did not attend church regularly at that time in our lives. I think God was probably one of the last things on our minds, unless of course, if something was wrong then we would pray. It was what we thought was a good life. Little did we know that my husband was going to lose his job about the time I discovered that I was pregnant again, and this was the last thing that we needed.
We did what we had to do to live. The 3 of us moved into my husband’s parent’s house. We talked about abortion but that did not settle well with my heart. I started researching and found a teaching clinic at Carraway Hospital that would see me for all my doctors visits and deliver the baby for $200, so things looked up again but we still did not acknowledge that God was working all of this out. I had a typical pregnancy except the baby was bigger than they thought she should be (back then they did not use sonograms like they do today). The doctors decided to do a sonogram on her. I asked why and was told that they were checking on her weight. After the pregnancy came to term and I went into labor, I called the doctor and when I got there….
After the pregnancy came to term and I went into labor, I called the doctor and when I got there but so was the pediatrician. Once the delivery was over, the pediatrician took her off immediately. The next morning they told me that she had a very severe heart defect and that the 3 cases of this defect they had seen did not make it. When Daina was 16 days old she had a heart catherization to confirm the diagnosis. The heart surgeon gave us some hope that when she got to a certain weight he could perform her surgery. So we took as good of care as we could, which wasn’t hard to do because she was just a joy to have in our family. And after 8 months of having week long hospital stays, her Cardiologist said it was finally time.
It was strange to us that she would get sick and have to go to the hospital after she went to her cardiologist; however, she got sick that night and after admitting her to the hospital again she lived another 6 days. I was the one to notify the nurses that something was wrong. During the night she had swollen to about twice her size, which is a sign of congestive heart failure. The nurses took her away and I never saw her alive again.
Needless to say I was very bitter at God. I was one of those that said if there was a God He wouldn’t put me through this. I wanted something from God even after I had just forgotten about Him until I needed something, As a child I spent every Wednesday and Sunday in church, so I knew God; I had just pushed Him aside. I carried this hurt and pain around with me for at least 40 years.
Then after finding God again, I was able to see that God didn’t do anything to me. Everything He did was for Daina’s sake. You see He knew that she would not be able to function in this world so He took her home so that she could be herself, free from illness. I rededicated my life to the Lord June 15, 2015 and I know that I will be reunited with my daughter. I also know that the Lord has forgiven me for all of my sins and that He has prepared a place for me in heaven.
When I would remember this I would feel shame even though God had forgiven me. I was selfish and looking back we led a pretty horrible life. I’m so very thankful for the Lord’s grace and love. If it can cover the sins I committed then it is not too late to turn your life over to God.
It’s really easy to make a commitment; just believe that Jesus died on the cross, that he was buried and after three days he was resurrected, and ask Him for forgiveness. God loves us so much that He welcomes all that come to Him.
I know it’s hard to not get mad at God for allowing these things to happen. He is okay with you being frustrated and even yelling at Him some. Remember that He loves you and He wants to comfort you. We may not understand His plan or His will, but we must understand His love and His faithfulness. Keep trusting in Him. He will prove Himself to you.
Cindy Odom lives in Huntsville, AL with her husband, Tony, and 4 dogs. She also happens to be my wonderful mother-in -law (seriously, I could not ask for a better one). She attends Solid Rock Church in Pinson, AL.
Fun fact: If you ever want our pastor’s sermon to read, she will have it. She takes very detailed sermon notes.
If you are someone you know suffers from grief, please join our Grief Facebook Small Group, Naham (Comfort). You are not alone in this time. Pathfinders members are on this path with you. Thank you for being a Pathfinder.
Please like, comment and share this post by clicking one of the buttons below.