A group of people who work together also known as a word that people hate to hear unless you are talking about your favorite sports. The word? TEAM.
The human race is born with the "it's mine" mentality. Everything is ours and we are not going to share. So the idea of team work, well let's just say isn't easy. We like doing things our way. It's very difficult to play as a team. We are challenged with this all throughout our childhood and into our adult years. We all want to be the star of the show. We can do it better than the other.
Marriage: Marriage is about unity. We become one when we enter into holy matrimony. "And the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh" Mark 10:8 NIV. Let's examine the first husband and wife, you guessed it, Adam and Eve. "The man [Adam] said, 'This is now bone of my bones and flesh or my flesh; she [Eve] shall be called woman, for she was taken out of me," Genesis 2:23 NIV. The Bible tells us that Eve was made from Adam and Adam was made from God's breathe. They became one flesh. They were born a team. Team Us (God + Adam + Eve). After the fall of man everything got messed up. Adam blamed Eve and Eve blamed the serpent. No longer were they a team. They were placing blame on something other than themselves as a whole. One flesh. When a man and a woman enter into this sacred vow, they agreeing to become to one flesh and one body. The Bible speaks on several occasions concerning this point. So why are still individuals in our marriages?
it seems like we are in constant competition with each other instead making it a team effort. We fight about how we disciple our children or even how we clean the house. Marriage is not supposed to be a competition yet we are playing this one on one game to often and marriages are being destroyed with this huge grenade the enemy has thrown at us. We have bought into this lie that our spouses are our enemies and instead of the real enemy. Your spouse is not and should not be the enemy. On the other hand, we are also making ourselves out to be the enemy of our marriage because we are giving in to the temptations of the real enemy. Who is this enemy, and no it's not your in-laws? The enemy is Satan. "The thief [enemy; Satan] comes only to steal and kill and destroy [everything, even our marriages and family]; I [God, creator, connector] have come that they may have life, and have it to the full [a happy marriage - team us]" John 10:10 NIV.
You are no longer an individual. Marriage isn't 50/50. Marriage is all in, 110% from both parties, one flesh, one body, one team. I encourage you to sit down and right out your common goals, PRAY together (5 minutes or 5hours - it can be intimating but it gets easier), start a Bible Study together (Team Us: Marriage Together by Ashleigh Slater; You and Me Forever, by Francis and Lisa Chan; The Fireproof Couples Kit by Alex and Stephen Kendrick; or good old-fashioned Bible Scriptures). Don and I just started Team Us. It's already making us think about our common goals. Even if your spouse will not do this with you, you can start a study and begin PRAYING for your spouse. Never stop praying for your spouse (see post: Prayer: SHOULD be praying for your Husband).
Remember, your spouse isn't your enemy. Your spouse is your teammate designed and chosen by God Almighty, the beginning and the end, the Savior of the world. He has a purpose for your marriage. TEAM US!